Faith may not be a feeling, but trust is a track record of evidence of someone/something having your back when you're powerless.  Just an FYI, it's pretty easy to lose faith when you've put your trust in an unseen God and He/She/It drops the ball and you end up flat on your face, after having the rug pulled out from under you, and you're left to "figure it out" on your own.

i know i will find the strength from somewhere to get thru this, i do have some good friends. i cant have them in court tho, i couldnt bear them having to listen to the details. i have been trying to get angry, i just cant its not the person i am. i also feel so sad for his family, they are innocent but also are going to suffer. i have always lived my life in a way not to harm anyone, i hate even using harsh words. life changing it has been, even now i cant have a knife in my flat-i use a spoon to eat my food. silly things that have been changed, it hasnt made me bitter tho, i still love and trust ppl coz i believe theres good in us all.

The day after your hearing...everything will back to normal and you'll start forgetting all about this...as you should. And you probably already had...but them finding this douchebag understandably opened an old wound. So go put on some nice relaxing music (if you need some let me know)...hop in a nice hot bath...relax and start the process of putting this behind you again. You already did this once...and this upcoming hearing is just a formality that will be over before you know it.

I got a really big hammer if you want it. Weighs in at about two tons and you can easily pick it up and drop on his head, just to see him go squish. We do that to bugs, why should this jerk be any different. After all...he has a higher power to answer to. I would not want to be in his shoes when 'that' hammer falls. God bless you love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwPexocJK3Y

coming here and telling your story is being strong  

well.... I remember you saying you took early retirement because of high blood pressure.... so best to be guided by your doctor.... no doubt this kind of trauma will be playing havoc with it...

good to hear.....

let's not turn this into a who believes and who doesn't believe and why....everyone will have their own individual advice....and the focus here is lou's issues... 

It will certainly be a relief with a positive outcome.... but I still hope they offer you continuing counselling to put this behind you faster.... 

The things I have endured are only minor in comparison to what you have suffered, but one thing I do know is that receiving justice for that which was done against you is an important part of closure and moving on, so try to view this upcoming court procedure as the final chapter of this unpleasant part of your life.  Once justice is served, a huge weight will seem to have risen from your shoulders and you will be able to move on with the rest of your life.

As for trying to become angry, you don't need to.  The truth is all you need to put this bastard behind bars where he belongs, and the strength will come to you when the time comes.  The police will guide and support you every step of the way... and as Webgizmos says, after 20 years they must obviously care.

I wish you all the help and support you need to get through this, and when people say forgiveness should not be given, it is another important part of your healing.  It is not easy because of the suffering and pain he inflicted, but if you can find some forgiveness in your heart it will help you to let it all go more easily.  It may sound silly, but believe me, it's what I had to do to eventually find the inner peace that had evaded me after I was assaulted.

Anyhow, I'm sure the counselors will assist you through all this and that you will be fine.  All the best to you, loukeeya, and may peace and happiness find you.

my point is....let's keep this positive and keep the focus where it deserves to be...not turn it into a debate about religion or other's comments.... and get off track..... as WC threads are prone to do....

Lou I debated in my own mind if I would write something here. Because of the nature of what you have shared it is not easy to find appropriate words. What I wish to say to you is this. Many people will offer their opinions and advice on what they think you should do to move on. People mean well and and have good intentions when they do. I am not going to tell you what I think you should do to get closure on this so you can move on with your life. The reason why I will not is because I am not you. I do not know or can I relate in anyway with your terrible experience.

I do know however what it is like to be locked in an internal prison for over 30 years because of verbal and physical abuse of a father. It kept me from being me and living and experiencing life in a positive way.

Lou forgiveness is a choice but I do not think anyone can blame you for not being able to forgive. I do not know if I would be able too if I was in your shoes. It took me 25 years to forgive my father but when I did forgive him a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. The prisons walls I was locked up in came crumbling down. I chose to forgive him not because he was my father but because I finally realized it was needed for me to move on and get back what was stolen from me.

My heart goes out to you Lou. I hope and pray that somehow your heart will be healed. I will be thinking and praying for you.

Ken

I wasn't deminishing Lou's feelings at all. I was thinking of her feelings, it's not easy to forgive, but forgiveness, as I said, is not for the offender, it's for her sake. I'm focusing on Lou publicly, not privately! She needs to know that people care about her and not argue over faith and belief! What a horrible thing to focus on K10w3!

Loukeeya, I don't know what you have gone through, but just know this. I care about you! I'm not trying to preach to you or anything like that, but knowing someone is praying for you, whether you believe or not, is a good thing. So please, just know you're not alone! We all love you!

i have to say you have all shown me that there is so much goodness and kindness in ppl, i have always known in my heart that there were many good ppl - i just happened to cross paths with one of lifes not so nice ppl. you have all given me strength and i value each and every one of you. today i woke up feeling calmer and stronger, i am hoping that the initial shock has passed and that now i can move forward with strength.

a big part of me felt guilty for bringing this here but i hope you will understand what desperation can do. i have got thru many bad times with humour, i know this is not a humourous subjects but i crave sillyness and slapstick - perhaps i should watch some silly film and just laugh for an hour or so.

words really cannot express how you have all made me feel, but i no longer feel alone

well...after 20 years..... it would be a massive shock..... calmer and stronger sounds like a good frame of mind to be in..... keep it up....   he'll soon be doing mail order soap-on-a-rope.... 

a problem shared is a problem halved.....

good idea..... or.....you could try laughing yoga....... 

Glad you're in a better frame of mind!

@Syd! That really creeped me out Syd! And lou thinks she has problems!